I am writing this in a cafe called 'Trees' which apparently has been voted the #1 place for Cheesecake in Vancouver. I was a little sceptical at first, as asking people to vote for their favorite Cheesecake-serving cafe in Vancouver seems a little too specific a subject for a poll. But the Cheesecake turned out to be delicious - so delicious that I have decided to go against the rules of grammar and capitalize the word. It really is good stuff. I would definitely vote for this place if asked to list my favourite Cheesecake cafes in Vancouver. Actually, seeing as I've only been to one, I would put this place at the top and then just list the others in any old order to give the impression that I am something of a Cheesecake connoisseur.
Enough Cheesecake. Since being in Vancouver, I have had a total of 4 different job placements acquired through a temping agency. These have ranged from the ridiculous to the downright dull. Most recently I have been making boxes in a clothing warehouse... um, and I honestly can't elaborate any more on that. Making boxes - those two words completely sum up the job description, the job responsibilities, the job requirements, the skills acquired, the high points and the low points of the job. Oh Christ, it was terrible - I spent a total of 17 hours making boxes. Every so often the supervisor would walk past and offer such encouraging words as "Keep making boxes!" I can't for the life of me think why he felt the need to keep saying that - it wasn't as if I was suddenly going to decide to wander off and start driving the forklift truck around.
But there was a glimmer of hope. On the first day, after about 4 hours of box making, the supervisor asks me if I fancied a change and leads me to the other side of the warehouse "OK, these boxes are a little smaller, but you assemble them in just the same way". And just in case I didn't understand or needed reminding he added "Keep making boxes!" Anyway, that job has finished now and I promised myself I would never sink that low again.
While temping, I found myself crossing paths with a guy (Canadian for 'man') called Paul on a couple of occasions. Paul, 50-ish, is also employed by the temping agency and occasionally we are assigned to the same job. I was in two minds whether to write about Paul, but he is someone who has stuck in my mind and is a living reminder that success is fickle and failure is never far away. Paul is sad and has no life. That is not a cheap, derogatory swipe, but the actual truth. He isn't happy because he left his previous job (as a finance manager) to travel the world and after spending all of his money found himself unable to get back into a stable work position. As a result he lives, unmarried, in a small room in a tower block on the rough side of town and gets about one day of work a week out of the employment agency.
Paul confessed that the reason he doesn't get any work is because he is not very good with computers and is better with his hands. He shared the hilarious anecdote of how he was given a job position in an office and was there for 10 minutes, staring blankly at Excel, before being asked to leave! Actually, I don't think he found it particularly hilarious. And come to think of it neither did I. And yesterday, after being confronted by a roll of sellotape, he gave in and admitted that he wasn't very good with his hands either, which begs the question; does this man have any skills at all? This question was in the back of my mind on the way home and I came to the conclusion that yes, he does have a skill, the skill to keep smiling and not kill himself. Poor guy.
Um, oh dear, this has gone wildly off track. I'm not sure whether I should delete the last couple of paragraphs as it seems inappropriate, lacks any kind of relevance and isn't even that interesting. But I won't.
Before the warehouse position I found myself assisting with a Sales conference at a hotel which was much more interesting. The conference was being given by a big-shot called Tom Hopkins who was apparently a successful salesman and for as little $500 a ticket he shared his wisdom and knowledge with a bunch of sales piranhas. For example, a nugget of wisdom divulged by old Tom was "Never give the customer the option to say 'no' or 'I will think about it' - when arranging an appointment don't ask the customer what is a good time for them".
Seeing this conference confirmed to me that the world of sales is built on a slimy foundation of misdirection, mistrust and general inhumanity. It brings out the very worst in people; those who are willing to squeeze a sale out of the most vulnerable of customers by piling on the pressure and subconsciously manipulating them into buying whatever trash they are selling. The whole thing was a complete con... imagine paying $500 and being told "When answering the phone, answer on the third ring and always put the customer on hold for the optimal time of seventeen seconds". It was utter rubbish and everyone in that room should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
Still, it wasn't all bad. As a thank you for helping, Tom kindly gave me one of his books "Laugh Your Way to Health and Wealth" - a book where even the universal concept of laughter has been twisted into some kind of money making ploy.
Well, that's about it for now. Hope you are all well and I haven't offended anyone. I have uploaded some more pictures to my photo album at: http://picasaweb.google.com/chrischivers/TheSecondWeek
Chris
1 comment:
this is brilliant. i hope this gets made into a book.
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